We’re a sporty bunch at All About Food. We’ve had triathletes, Iron People, there’s a few of us that are into squash, some of us recently went to Flight Club in Manchester to duel it out at darts. But football is the biggest sport in the office, without a doubt. Because we’re all so eclectic, there’s a whole bunch of people who support a whole bunch of teams (some unfortunately even support Newcastle) and there’s a regular ripping of whoevers team has badly lost that weekend (as I said, some unfortunately even support Newcastle). But when it comes to our own on-field action, we have a twice-monthly game of football to allow us to get our own back for the ripping that preceded the days and weeks before.

When we first started playing, we wrote out your classic-style match report. After half a year or more of playing, though, it’s maybe a better idea to give you a verbal highlights reel of some of the… funnier… moments of the last few months.

 

DALE SMASH

Good fun; check. High scoring; check. Loads of laughs; double check. But also competitive and high octane? You bet. And when the scoreline all becomes a bit too negative for one player (clue: Dale) he has a tradition of storming through the midfield and blasting the most ferocious (and sometimes not too accurate) shot on goal you’ve ever seen. From anywhere on the pitch too. It could be from goal, it could be on the halfway line and it could be from on the goal line. No area of the pitch it too close not to smash the ball.

 

Billy B taking it all a little more serious than everyone else

Every side needs a leader, and the leader/organiser extraordinaire of our gang is Will B (aka Chairman, Billy B). He gets in the subs, organises the teams, makes sure everyone has brought the right kit (nobody likes diving into lost property). But he’s also probably the most eager to win, making sure everyone is putting maximum effort in, even when we’re all sweating to death. Calls of “get back lads!” “someone keep an eye on Tom” or even “you all owe me subs” can be heard far and wide. Often to very little/no reaction from the team. Maybe we are lazy.

 

Megs for days

Everyone who plays football knows that there’s few things worse than getting nutmegged (unsure if ‘nutmegged’ is fine for a professional blog? Be unsure no more) and that happens a lot on our pitch. Like, maybe 8 times a game. And usually the ‘megger is Tony. And the ‘megee is usually Luke. What this essentially means is that for an hour, every few Mondays, Luke’s dignity and happiness is nowhere to be found. Nice one, Tony. 

 

Own goals are best

The newest member of the team, Asa, started playing football on his second week. That’s the dedication we absolutely love. However, what that means is that as soon as he does something silly we all laugh our heads off, no holds barred. And in one of his first games he scored a spectacular own goal that looped up above his head, his him on the hand and nestled into the net. It was as hilarious as it sounded and landed him Div of the Week. Other own goal honourable mentions go to Tony who scored what was just an excellent finish, but unfortunately in completely the wrong net. Another time, the ball bounced on and over Matthew’s head when he was in goal. While that’s not an official own goal, it was funny and he didn’t mean to do it. Good times.